28.7 Lāu-pē phài lâng teh chhōe góa
"... Jiân-āu, thiaⁿ-kóng Don Fernando sûi lī-khui, Luscinda un kàu keh-kang chiah ho̍k-goân, chiah kā pē-bú kóng-bêng sī án-chóaⁿ yi chin-chiàⁿ sī góa tú-chiah kóng-kòe hit-ê Cardenio ê sin-niû. Góa mā thiaⁿ-kóng, ū hong-siaⁿ kóng, Cardenio mā ū chhut-hiān tī tēng-hun lé, khòaⁿ tio̍h Luscinda ê tēng-hun kap i ê kî-bōng tian-tò, i tō lī-khui hit-ê siâⁿ-chhī, lâu chi̍t-tiuⁿ phe kóng Luscinda tùi i só͘ chò ê m̄-sī, í-ki̍p i boeh khì chi̍t-ê bô lâng ē koh khòaⁿ-tio̍h i ê só͘-chāi. It-chhè chiah-ê pháiⁿ miâ-siaⁿ thoân tī siâⁿ-lāi, ta̍k-ê lóng teh kóng che. Iû-kî sī, thiaⁿ-kóng Luscinda mā ùi lāu-pē ê chhù siau-sit, mā bô tī siâⁿ-lāi, sì-kè chhōe bô yi, hō͘ pē-bú chiok hoân-ló, m̄-chai ū siáⁿ hoat-tō͘ chhōe yi tńg-lâi.
"Thiaⁿ-tio̍h che, hō͘ góa koh seⁿ hi-bāng, bô chhōe tio̍h Don Fernando, tian-tò hō͘ góa khah hoaⁿ-hí kòe chhōe tio̍h í-keng kiat-hun ê i, in-ūi chāi góa khòaⁿ, góa ê ki-hōe ê mn̂g iáu-bōe koaiⁿ. Góa siūⁿ, hoān-sè sī Thiⁿ tī tē-jī pái hun-in siat chit-ê chiòng-gāi, hō͘ i sêng-jīn tio̍h chīn tē-it pái ê gī-bū, koh hoán-séng, chò chi̍t-ê Kitok-tô͘, tio̍h khòaⁿ ka-tī ê lêng-hûn khah tāng kòe sè-kan mi̍h-kiāⁿ. It-chhè chiah-ê siám-kòe góa ê náu-hái, góa chīn-la̍t an-ùi ka-tī, tān bô tit-tio̍h an-ùi, góa tîm-chùi tī hi-bî, iâu-oán ê hi-bāng, chhì boeh pó-sioh taⁿ góa ià-siān ê seng-oa̍h.
"M̄-koh, tī siâⁿ-lāi bô chhōe tio̍h Don Fernando, m̄-chai boeh chhòng-siáⁿ hó ê sî, góa thiaⁿ-tio̍h kóng, ū kò-sī kóng, chhōe-tio̍h góa ê lâng ū tāng-siúⁿ, koh thê-kiong góa ê nî-hòe, ho̍k-chong ê sè-chiat. Góa thiaⁿ lâng kóng, sī hō͘ pôe góa lâi hit-ê po̍k-jîn kā góa ùi goán pē-bú ê chhù koái-cháu ê. Che hō͘ góa sim ná teh koah, hián-sī góa ê miâ-siaⁿ í-keng lak kàu gōa kē. Góa lī-ka í-keng miâ-siaⁿ bái, in koh kóng góa sī tòe lâng cháu, tòe chi̍t-ê hiah pi-chiān, hiah bô sù-phòe ê lâng.
"Chi̍it-ē thiaⁿ-tio̍h chit-ê siau-sit, góa tō kap po̍k-jîn chhut-siâⁿ. Hit-lâng tùi góa ê tiong-sêng tī chit-sî chhut-hiān iô-tāng. Hit-àm, in-ūi kiaⁿ hông hoat-hiān, góa bih-ji̍p soaⁿ-khu siōng ba̍t ê chhiū-nâ. M̄-koh, tō ná sio̍k-gí kóng ê, pháiⁿ-sū sio-tòe, chi̍t-ê put-hēng ê kiat-sok éng-éng sī pa̍t-ê khah tōa put-hēng ê khai-sí. Góa ê chōng-hóng tō sī án-ne. Goân-pún tùi góa tiong-si̍t khó-khò ê hó po̍k-jîn, hoat-hiān góa tī chit-chióng ko͘-toaⁿ só͘-chāi, soah sim-koaⁿ khí siâ-liām, khah bô sêng sī in-ūi góa ê bí-māu. I ài-boeh lī-iōng che ko͘-choa̍t ê khoân-kéng, bē-hiáu kiàn-siàu, m̄-kiaⁿ sîn-bêng, bô chun-kèng góa, khai-sí hiòng góa kiû-ài. Jiân-āu, hoat-hiān góa kō͘ giâm-lē ê ōe-gí hôe-choa̍t i he kāu bīn-phôe ê iau-kiû, i hòng-khì khí-chho͘ ê khún-kiû, kái iōng po̍k-le̍k.
"Ka-chài, Thiⁿ-kong ū ba̍k-chiu, chóng-sī pang-chō͘ siān-liông. Ū Thiⁿ ê pang-chō͘, kō͘ góa sió-sió le̍k-liōng, sió-khóa chhut-la̍t, góa kā i tháⁿ-lo̍h toān-gâi, lâu i tī hia, m̄-chai seⁿ a̍h sí. Sim-koaⁿ kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ, lâng koh thiám, góa piàⁿ-miā cháu hiòng soaⁿ-lāi, siáⁿ to bô siūⁿ, ûi-it bo̍k-tek sī boeh bih tī soaⁿ-lāi, siám-phiah goán lāu-pē kap i phài lâi chhōe góa ê lâng.
"Góa m̄-chai, chū-chiông phō chit-ê bo̍k-tek lâi kàu chia í-keng kòe kúi-kò goe̍h ah. Góa tú-tio̍h chi̍t-ê khòaⁿ-iûⁿ-á, i chhiàⁿ góa tī soaⁿ-khu bó͘ chi̍t só͘-chāi chò po̍k-jîn. Góa it-ti̍t tī chia kò͘ iûⁿ-á, chīn-liōng bih tī iá-gōa, koh kā thâu-chang chhàng hó, taⁿ soah ì-gōa po̍k-lō͘ chhut-lâi.
"M̄-koh, góa ê sió-sim kap chia̍h-khó͘ mā sit-hāu. Goán chú-lâng hoat-kak góa m̄-sī cha-po͘ ê, tō sán-seng kap góa hit-ê po̍k-jîn kāng-khoán ê siâ-liām. Iū-koh, hó-ūn bô chóng-sī tī khùn-lân ê sî thê-kiong kiù-chō͘, góa bô sûi-sî ū toān-gâi a̍h soaⁿ-khàm, chhiūⁿ tī góa ê po̍k-jîn ê chōng-hóng án-ne, thang-hó kā chú-lâng chhia-lo̍h a̍h siau-tî i ê kek-chêng. Góa siūⁿ khah kî-chhù ê hoat-tō͘, tō sī lī-khui i, kā ka-tī chhàng tī chhim soaⁿ, bián-tit kap i pí khùi-la̍t a̍h pôaⁿ chhùi-gím.
"Só͘-tì, tō ná góa kóng ê án-ne, góa koh chhōe só͘-chāi bih khí-lâi, hō͘ góa ē-tit tī hia thó͘ tōa-khùi, lâu ba̍k-sái, kiû Thiⁿ khó-liân góa ê put-hēng, hō͘ góa pang-chō͘ kap le̍k-liōng lâi thoat-lī khó͘-lān, nā bô, tō hō͘ góa sí tī chit-ê ko͘-choa̍t ê só͘-chāi, mài lâu jīm-hô hûn-jiah hông chai he sī góa. In-ūi góa ê put-hēng m̄-sī góa ê kòe-chhò, soah chiâⁿ-chò chāi-tē kap gōa-tē lâng gī-lūn ê kiàn-siàu-tāi...
(2024-6-16)
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28.7 老爸派人teh 揣我
"... 然後, 聽講 Don Fernando 隨離開, Luscinda un 到隔工才復原, 才 kā 爸母講明是按怎她真正是我拄才講過彼个 Cardenio ê 新娘. 我 mā 聽講, 有風聲講, Cardenio mā 有出現 tī 訂婚禮, 看著 Luscinda ê 訂婚 kap 伊 ê 期望顛倒, 伊 tō 離開彼个城市, 留一張批講 Luscinda tùi 伊所做 ê 毋是, 以及伊欲去一个無人 ē koh 看著伊 ê 所在. 一切 chiah-ê 歹名聲傳 tī 城內, 逐个 lóng teh 講 che. 尤其是, 聽講 Luscinda mā ùi 老爸 ê 厝消失, mā 無 tī 城內, 四界揣無她, hō͘ 爸母足煩惱, 毋知有啥法度揣她轉來.
"聽著 che, hō͘ 我 koh 生希望, 無揣著 Don Fernando, 顛倒 hō͘ 我 khah 歡喜過揣著已經結婚 ê 伊, 因為在我看, 我 ê 機會 ê 門猶未關. 我想, 凡勢是天 tī 第二擺婚姻設這个障礙, hō͘ 伊承認著盡第一擺 ê 義務, koh 反省, 做一个 Kitok 徒, 著看 ka-tī ê 靈魂 khah 重過世間物件. 一切 chiah-ê 閃過我 ê 腦海, 我盡力安慰 ka-tī, 但無得著安慰, 我沉醉 tī 稀微, 遙遠 ê 希望, 試欲保惜今我厭僐 ê 生活.
"M̄-koh, tī 城內無揣著 Don Fernando, 毋知欲創啥好 ê 時, 我聽著講, 有告示講, 揣著我 ê 人有重賞, koh 提供我 ê 年歲, 服裝 ê 細節. 我聽人講, 是 hō͘ 陪我來彼个僕人 kā 我 ùi 阮爸母 ê 厝拐走 ê. Che hō͘ 我心 ná teh 割, 顯示我 ê 名聲已經 lak 到偌低. 我離家已經名聲䆀, in koh 講我是綴人走, 綴一个 hiah 卑賤, hiah 無四配 ê 人.
"一下聽著這个消息, 我 tō kap 僕人出城. 彼人 tùi 我 ê 忠誠 tī 這時出現搖動. 彼暗, 因為驚 hông 發現, 我覕入山區上 ba̍t ê 樹林. M̄-koh, tō ná 俗語講 ê, 歹事相綴, 一个不幸 ê 結束往往是別个 khah 大不幸 ê 開始. 我 ê 狀況 tō 是 án-ne. 原本 tùi 我忠實可靠 ê 好僕人, 發現我 tī 這種孤單所在, soah 心肝起邪念, khah 無成是因為我 ê 美貌. 伊愛欲利用 che 孤絕 ê 環境, 袂曉見笑, 毋驚神明, 無尊敬我, 開始向我求愛. 然後, 發現我 kō͘ 嚴厲 ê 話語回絕伊 he 厚面皮 ê 要求, 伊放棄起初 ê 懇求, 改用暴力.
"佳哉, 天公有目睭, 總是幫助善良. 有天 ê 幫助, kō͘ 我小小力量, 小可出力, 我 kā 伊挺落斷崖, 留伊 tī hia, 毋知生 a̍h 死. 心肝驚惶, 人 koh 忝, 我拚命走向山內, 啥 to 無想, 唯一目的是欲覕 tī 山內, 閃避阮老爸 kap 伊派來揣我 ê 人.
"我毋知, 自從抱這个目的來到 chia 已經過幾個月 ah. 我拄著一个看羊仔, 伊倩我 tī 山區某一所在做僕人. 我一直 tī chia 顧羊仔, 盡量覕 tī 野外, koh kā 頭鬃藏好, 今 soah 意外暴露出來.
"M̄-koh, 我 ê 小心 kap 食苦 mā 失效. 阮主人發覺我毋是查埔 ê, tō 產生 kap 我彼个僕人仝款 ê 邪念. 又 koh, 好運無總是 tī 困難 ê 時提供救助, 我無隨時有斷崖 a̍h 山崁, 像 tī 我 ê 僕人 ê 狀況 án-ne, thang-hó kā 主人捙落 a̍h 消除伊 ê 激情. 我想 khah 其次 ê 法度, tō 是離開伊, kā ka-tī 藏 tī 深山, 免得 kap 伊比氣力 a̍h 盤喙錦.
"所致, tō ná 我講 ê án-ne, 我 koh 揣所在覕起來, hō͘ 我 ē-tit tī hia 吐大氣, 流目屎, 求天可憐我 ê 不幸, hō͘ 我幫助 kap 力量來脫離苦難, 若無, tō hō͘ 我死 tī 這个孤絕 ê 所在, 莫留任何痕跡 hông 知 he 是我. 因為我 ê 不幸毋是我 ê 過錯, soah 成做在地 kap 外地人議論 ê 見笑代...
(2024-6-16)
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28.7
It was said, moreover, that Don Fernando went away at once, and that Luscinda did not recover from her prostration until the next day, when she told her parents how she was really the bride of that Cardenio I have mentioned. I learned besides that Cardenio, according to report, had been present at the betrothal; and that upon seeing her betrothed contrary to his expectation, he had quitted the city in despair, leaving behind him a letter declaring the wrong Luscinda had done him, and his intention of going where no one should ever see him again. All this was a matter of notoriety in the city, and everyone spoke of it; especially when it became known that Luscinda was missing from her father’s house and from the city, for she was not to be found anywhere, to the distraction of her parents, who knew not what steps to take to recover her. /
What I learned revived my hopes, and I was better pleased not to have found Don Fernando than to find him married, for it seemed to me that the door was not yet entirely shut upon relief in my case, and I thought that perhaps Heaven had put this impediment in the way of the second marriage, to lead him to recognise his obligations under the former one, and reflect that as a Christian he was bound to consider his soul above all human objects. All this passed through my mind, and I strove to comfort myself without comfort, indulging in faint and distant hopes of cherishing that life that I now abhor.
“But while I was in the city, uncertain what to do, as I could not find Don Fernando, I heard notice given by the public crier offering a great reward to anyone who should find me, and giving the particulars of my age and of the very dress I wore; and I heard it said that the lad who came with me had taken me away from my father’s house; a thing that cut me to the heart, showing how low my good name had fallen, since it was not enough that I should lose it by my flight, but they must add with whom I had fled, and that one so much beneath me and so unworthy of my consideration. /
The instant I heard the notice I quitted the city with my servant, who now began to show signs of wavering in his fidelity to me, and the same night, for fear of discovery, we entered the most thickly wooded part of these mountains. But, as is commonly said, one evil calls up another and the end of one misfortune is apt to be the beginning of one still greater, and so it proved in my case; for my worthy servant, until then so faithful and trusty when he found me in this lonely spot, moved more by his own villainy than by my beauty, sought to take advantage of the opportunity which these solitudes seemed to present him, and with little shame and less fear of God and respect for me, began to make overtures to me; and finding that I replied to the effrontery of his proposals with justly severe language, he laid aside the entreaties which he had employed at first, and began to use violence.
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“But just Heaven, that seldom fails to watch over and aid good intentions, so aided mine that with my slight strength and with little exertion I pushed him over a , where I left him, whether dead or alive I know not; and then, with greater speed than seemed possible in my terror and fatigue, I made my way into the mountains, without any other thought or purpose save that of hiding myself among them, and escaping my father and those despatched in search of me by his orders. /
It is now I know not how many months since with this object I came here, where I met a herdsman who engaged me as his servant at a place in the heart of this Sierra, and all this time I have been serving him as herd, striving to keep always afield to hide these locks which have now unexpectedly betrayed me. /
But all my care and pains were unavailing, for my master made the discovery that I was not a man, and harboured the same base designs as my servant; and as fortune does not always supply a remedy in cases of difficulty, and I had no precipice or ravine at hand down which to fling the master and cure his passion, as I had in the servant’s case, I thought it a lesser evil to leave him and again conceal myself among these crags, than make trial of my strength and argument with him. /
So, as I say, once more I went into hiding to seek for some place where I might with sighs and tears implore Heaven to have pity on my misery, and grant me help and strength to escape from it, or let me die among the solitudes, leaving no trace of an unhappy being who, by no fault of hers, has furnished matter for talk and scandal at home and abroad.”
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