45.2 Che 事實是馬具

45.2 Che sū-si̍t sī bé-kū

Tùi hiah-ê chai Don Quixote sèng-chêng pì-bi̍t ê lâng, che it-chhè sī hó-sńg tāi, tān tùi siáⁿ to m̄-chai ê lâng, che sī sè-kài chòe tōa ê hàm-kó͘ tāi, iû-kî tùi Don Luis pún-lâng kap hit 4-ê po̍k-jîn, í-ki̍p 3-ê tú-hó lâi tòa kheh-chàn ê lâng-kheh, in khòaⁿ ná sī Sèng Hiaⁿ-tī Hōe ê koaⁿ-oân, sū-si̍t mā sī. M̄-koh, chòe tē-it gông-ngia̍h ê sī thì-thâu-sai pún-lâng, i ê bīn-tháng ba̍k-chiu kim-kim tō piàn-chò Mambrino thâu-khoe, á i ê phāiⁿ-an bô-gî tō boeh piàn-chò hôa-lē bé-kū ah.

Chèng-lâng chhiò hai-hai khòaⁿ Don Fernando chi̍t-ê chi̍t-ê siu-chi̍p ì-kiàn, khin-siaⁿ chhiáⁿ in thê-kiong ì-kiàn, chit-ê chèⁿ bô-thêng ê pó-bu̍t tàu-té sī phāiⁿ-an a̍h bé-kū. Tī siu-chi̍p liáu bat Don Quixote ê lâng ê ì-kiàn liáu-āu, i tōa-siaⁿ kóng:

"Tāi-chì sī án-ne, kok-ūi hó pêng-iú, góa lán-tit koh siu-chi̍p ì-kiàn ah, in-ūi góa hoat-hiān, mn̄g-kòe ê lâng bô kah chi̍t-ê m̄-sī jīn-ûi, kóng che sī lî-á ê phāiⁿ-an siuⁿ hàm, che sū-si̍t sī bé-kū, sī sûn-chéng bé ê bé-kū. Só͘-tì, lí tio̍h sêng-jīn, m̄-koán lí kap lí ê lî-á án-nóa siūⁿ, che sī bé-kū, m̄-sī phāiⁿ-an lah. Lí ê lūn-tiám kap chèng-kì lóng hui-siông chhò-gō͘." 

"Góa ē bô hó-bóe," hit-ê khó-liân ê thì-thâu-sai kóng, "nā m̄-sī kok-ūi koh-hā chiâu hut m̄-tio̍h khì. Góa kō͘ lêng-hûn bīn-tùi Sîn, he bêng-bêng sī phāiⁿ-an, m̄-sī bé-kū neh. M̄-koh, ‘sǹg lín iâⁿ lah,’ góa bián koh kóng ah lah. Khak-si̍t, góa bô chùi, in-ūi góa teh kìm-chia̍h, tî-hui sī pit-iàu ê lim kap chia̍h."

Thì-thâu-sai ê tiâu-ti̍t ōe bē khah su Don Quixote ê hàm-kó͘ ōe ín lâng ài-chhiò. Chit-sî Don Quixote koh kóng:

"Taⁿ bô siáⁿ hó koh chò ah, sûi-lâng the̍h ka-tī ê mi̍h, he sī Sîn só͘ sù ê, hi-bāng St Peter mā ē pì-iū."

Sì-ê po̍k-jîn kî-tiong chi̍t-ê kóng:

"Tek-khak, tî-hui che sī thiau kò͘-ì ê sńg-chhiò, góa bô hoat-tō͘ siong-sìn, chāi-tiûⁿ chiah-ê ū tì-sek ê lâng, khòaⁿ khí-lâi sī án-ne, kèng-jiân kóng che m̄-sī bīn-tháng, he m̄-sī phāiⁿ-an. Góa kám-kak in khak-si̍t sī án-ne jīn-tēng koh án-ne soan-pò͘, góa kan-ta ē-tàng án-ne kiat-lūn: kian-chhî bêng-bêng ûi-hoán keng-giām kap sū-si̍t ê tāi-chì, chit lāi-bīn pit-tēng ū sîn-pì ê só͘-chāi. Góa ē-sái chiù-chōa... (jiân-āu i chò chi̍t-ê chiù-chōa), choân sè-kài ê lâng to bô khó-lêng hō͘ góa siong-sìn, che m̄-sī thì-thâu bīn-tháng, he m̄-sī lî-káng ê phāiⁿ-an lah."

"He mā khó-lêng sī lî-bó ê phāiⁿ-an lah," sîn-hū pó͘-chhiong kóng.

"Lóng kāng-khoán lah," po̍k-jîn kóng, "he m̄-sī tiōng-tiám. Tiōng-tiám sī, che tàu-té sī m̄-sī lia̍t-ūi koh-hā só͘-kóng ê phāiⁿ-an."

Ōe chi̍t-ē kóng liáu, chi̍t-ê sin lâi ê Hiaⁿ-tī Hōe koaⁿ-oân thiaⁿ che kek-lia̍t ê cheng-lūn, si̍t-chāi khì kah lún bē-tiâu, tō hoah-siaⁿ kóng:

"Che tō sī phāiⁿ-an ah, tō ná goán lāu-pē tō sī goán lāu-pē ah, siáng nā kóng m̄-sī, tiāⁿ-tio̍h sī chiú-chùi ah."

"Lí chit-ê lô͘-môa ok-tô͘ o͘-pe̍h kóng," Don Quixote tap-chhùi, gia̍h-khí i he put-sî bô lī chhiú ê tn̂g-mâu, hiông-hiông hiòng koaⁿ-oân ê thâu kòng lo̍h-khì. Nā m̄-sī koaⁿ-oân kín siám, tek-khak hō͘ i kòng kah chhia pùn-táu. Tn̂g-mâu kòng tio̍h thô͘-kha, tn̄g chò kúi-nā chat. Kî-thaⁿ koaⁿ-oân khòaⁿ tông-phōaⁿ siū kong-kek, tō hoah-siaⁿ kiò lâng pang-chān Sèng Hiaⁿ-tī Hōe.

Tiàm thâu-ke sī Hiaⁿ-tī hōe-oân, tō sûi khì gia̍h hōe-kùn kap kiàm, khiā tī tông-phōaⁿ chit-pêng. Don Luis ê po̍k-jîn ûi tī i sin-piⁿ, bián-tit i thàn-loān cháu-khì. Thì-thâu-sai, khòaⁿ tiûⁿ-bīn tōa loān, tō khì lia̍h phāiⁿ-an, Sancho mā sī án-ne. Don Quixote thiu kiàm chhiong hiòng koaⁿ-oân. Don Luis hoah i ê po̍k-jîn bián kò͘ i, kín khì pang-chō͘ Don Quixote, í-ki̍p í-keng teh chi-chhî Don Quixote ê Cardenio kap Don Fernando. Sîn-hū tōa-tōa siaⁿ kiò, thâu-ke-niû kō͘ ki ê, yin cha-bó͘-kiáⁿ kaiⁿ, Maritornes háu, Dorothea gāng-gāng, Luscinda kiaⁿ kah phi̍h-phi̍h chhoah, Doña Clara chá tō hūn-khì ah.

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45.2 Che 事實是馬具

對 hiah-ê 知 Don Quixote 性情祕密 ê 人, che 一切是好耍代, 但對啥 to 毋知 ê 人, 這是世界最大 ê 譀古代, 尤其對 Don Luis 本人 kap hit 4 个僕人, 以及 3 个拄好來蹛客棧 ê 人客, in 看 ná 是聖兄弟會 ê 官員, 事實 mā 是. M̄-koh, 最第一 gông-ngia̍h ê 是剃頭師本人, 伊 ê 面桶目睭金金 tō 變做 Mambrino 頭盔, á 伊 ê 揹鞍無疑 tō 欲變做華麗馬具 ah.

眾人笑 hai-hai 看 Don Fernando 一个一个收集意見, 輕聲請 in 提供意見, 這个諍無停 ê 寶物到底是揹鞍 a̍h 馬具. Tī 收集了 bat Don Quixote ê 人 ê 意見了後, 伊大聲講:

"代誌是 án-ne, 各位好朋友, 我懶得 koh 收集意見 ah, 因為我發現, 問過 ê 人無 kah 一个毋是認為, 講這是驢仔 ê 揹鞍 siuⁿ 譀, che 事實是馬具, 是純種馬 ê 馬具. 所致, 你著承認, 毋管你 kap 你 ê 驢仔 án-nóa 想, che 是馬具, 毋是揹鞍 lah. 你 ê 論點 kap 證據 lóng 非常錯誤." 

"我 ē 無好尾," 彼个可憐 ê 剃頭師講, "若毋是各位閣下 chiâu hut 毋著去. 我 kō͘ 靈魂面對神, he 明明是揹鞍, 毋是馬具 neh. M̄-koh, ‘算恁贏 lah,’ 我免 koh 講 ah lah. 確實, 我無醉, 因為我 teh 禁食, 除非是必要 ê 啉 kap 食."

剃頭師 ê 條直話袂較輸 Don Quixote ê 譀古話引人愛笑. 這時 Don Quixote koh 講:

"今無啥好 koh 做 ah, 隨人提 ka-tī ê mi̍h, he 是神所賜 ê, 希望 St Peter mā ē 庇佑."

四个僕人其中一个講:

"的確, 除非這是刁故意 ê 耍笑, 我無法度相信, 在場 chiah-ê 有智識 ê 人, 看起來是 án-ne, 竟然講 che 毋是面桶, he 毋是揹鞍. 我感覺 in 確實是 án-ne 認定 koh án-ne 宣布, 我 kan-ta ē-tàng án-ne 結論: 堅持明明違反經驗 kap 事實 ê 代誌, chit 內面必定有神祕 ê 所在. 我 ē-sái 咒誓... (然後伊做一个咒誓), 全世界 ê 人 to 無可能 hō͘ 我相信, che 毋是剃頭面桶, he 毋是驢犅 ê 揹鞍 lah."

"He mā 可能是驢母 ê 揹鞍 lah," 神父補充講.

"Lóng 仝款 lah," 僕人講, "he 毋是重點. 重點是, che 到底是毋是列位閣下所講 ê 揹鞍."

話一下講了, 一个新來 ê 兄弟會官員聽 che 激烈 ê 爭論, 實在氣 kah lún 袂牢, tō 喝聲講:

"Che tō 是揹鞍 ah, tō ná 阮老爸 tō 是阮老爸 ah, siáng 若講毋是, 定著是酒醉 ah."

"你這个鱸鰻惡徒烏白講," Don Quixote 答喙, 攑起伊 he 不時無離手 ê 長矛, 雄雄向官員 ê 頭摃落去. 若毋是官員緊閃, 的確 hō͘ 伊摃 kah 捙畚斗. 長矛摃著塗跤, 斷做幾若 chat. 其他官員看同伴受攻擊, tō 喝聲叫人幫贊聖兄弟會.

店頭家是兄弟會員, tō 隨去攑會棍 kap 劍, 徛 tī 同伴這爿. Don Luis ê 僕人圍 tī 伊身邊, 免得伊趁亂走去. 剃頭師, 看場面大亂, tō 去掠揹鞍, Sancho mā 是 án-ne. Don Quixote 抽劍衝向官員. Don Luis 喝伊 ê 僕人免顧伊, 緊去幫助 Don Quixote, 以及已經 teh 支持 Don Quixote ê Cardenio kap Don Fernando. 神父大大聲叫, 頭家娘 kō͘ 吱 ê, 姻查某囝 kaiⁿ, Maritornes 吼, Dorothea gāng-gāng, Luscinda 驚 kah phi̍h-phi̍h 掣, Doña Clara 早 tō 昏去 ah.

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45.2

To those who were in on the secret of Don Quixote’s humour all this afforded great amusement; but to those who knew nothing about it, it seemed the greatest nonsense in the world, in particular to the four servants of Don Luis, as well as to Don Luis himself, and to three other travellers who had by chance come to the inn, and had the appearance of officers of the Holy Brotherhood, as indeed they were; but the one who above all was at his wits’ end was the barber whose basin, there before his very eyes, had been turned into Mambrino’s helmet, and whose pack-saddle he had no doubt whatever was about to become a rich caparison for a horse. /

All laughed to see Don Fernando going from one to another collecting the votes, and whispering to them to give him their private opinion whether the treasure over which there had been so much fighting was a pack-saddle or a caparison; but after he had taken the votes of those who knew Don Quixote, he said aloud, /

“The fact is, my good fellow, that I am tired collecting such a number of opinions, for I find that there is not one of whom I ask what I desire to know, who does not tell me that it is absurd to say that this is the pack-saddle of an ass, and not the caparison of a horse, nay, of a thoroughbred horse; so you must submit, for, in spite of you and your ass, this is a caparison and no pack-saddle, and you have stated and proved your case very badly.”

“May I never share heaven,” said the poor barber, “if your worships are not all mistaken; and may my soul appear before God as that appears to me a pack-saddle and not a caparison; but, ‘laws go,’—I say no more; and indeed I am not drunk, for I am fasting, except it be from sin.”

The simple talk of the barber did not afford less amusement than the absurdities of Don Quixote, who now observed:

“There is no more to be done now than for each to take what belongs to him, and to whom God has given it, may St. Peter add his blessing.”

But said one of the four servants, /

“Unless, indeed, this is a deliberate joke, I cannot bring myself to believe that men so intelligent as those present are, or seem to be, can venture to declare and assert that this is not a basin, and that not a pack-saddle; but as I perceive that they do assert and declare it, I can only come to the conclusion that there is some mystery in this persistence in what is so opposed to the evidence of experience and truth itself; for I swear by”—and here he rapped out a round oath—“all the people in the world will not make me believe that this is not a barber’s basin and that a jackass’s pack-saddle.”

“It might easily be a she-ass’s,” observed the curate.

“It is all the same,” said the servant; “that is not the point; but whether it is or is not a pack-saddle, as your worships say.”

On hearing this one of the newly arrived officers of the Brotherhood, who had been listening to the dispute and controversy, unable to restrain his anger and impatience, exclaimed, /

“It is a pack-saddle as sure as my father is my father, and whoever has said or will say anything else must be drunk.”

“You lie like a rascally clown,” returned Don Quixote; and lifting his pike, which he had never let out of his hand, he delivered such a blow at his head that, had not the officer dodged it, it would have stretched him at full length. The pike was shivered in pieces against the ground, and the rest of the officers, seeing their comrade assaulted, raised a shout, calling for help for the Holy Brotherhood. /

The landlord, who was of the fraternity, ran at once to fetch his staff of office and his sword, and ranged himself on the side of his comrades; the servants of Don Luis clustered round him, lest he should escape from them in the confusion; the barber, seeing the house turned upside down, once more laid hold of his pack-saddle and Sancho did the same; Don Quixote drew his sword and charged the officers; Don Luis cried out to his servants to leave him alone and go and help Don Quixote, and Cardenio and Don Fernando, who were supporting him; the curate was shouting at the top of his voice, the landlady was screaming, her daughter was wailing, Maritornes was weeping, Dorothea was aghast, Luscinda terror-stricken, and Doña Clara in a faint. /

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