28.3 Góa sī koán-ke, mā sī lú chú-lâng
"Góa sī in khòaⁿ ka-tī ê kiàⁿ, sī in lāu-nî ê óa-khò, sī in sūn Thiⁿ si̍t-hiān goān-bōng ê bo̍k-piau. Góa ê bo̍k-piau kap in ê it-tì, in-ūi góa chai in ê kè-ta̍t. Góa sī in ê sim-lêng tiong-sim, mā sī in ê châi-sán koán-ke. In thàu-kòe góa, chhiàⁿ a̍h sî po̍k-jîn, mā thàu-kòe góa ê chhiú, kì-lo̍k iā-chéng kap siu-sêng ê siàu-ba̍k kap siu-ek. Chiⁿ-iû-bō, kek-chiú-tháng, thâu-seⁿ, iûⁿ-tīn, kap chhī-phang siuⁿ ê sò͘-liōng, kán-tan kóng, chhiūⁿ goán lāu-pē chit-khoán hó-gia̍h lông-hu khó-lêng ū ê it-chhè, lóng iû góa koán-lí. Góa sī koán-ke, mā sī lú chú-lâng, góa ê kut-la̍t, kap in ê móa-ì, góa bô hoat-tō͘ tī chia siông-sè biô-su̍t.
"Góa hiòng khòaⁿ-iûⁿ nía-pan, kang-thâu, kap kî-thaⁿ po̍k-jîn kau-tài khang-khòe liáu-āu ê ū-êng sî-kan, góa tō iōng-lâi chò siàu-liân ko͘-niû ē-sái chò mā eng-kai chò ê khang-khòe, chhin-chhiūⁿ chiam-sòaⁿ, chhiah-siù, pháng-chit tt [téng-téng]. Ū-sî, ūi-tio̍h pàng-sang sim-chêng, góa mā ē pàng lo̍h chiah-ê, tha̍k kóa kah-ì ê chheh, tôaⁿ khiā-khîm (harp), in-ūi keng-giām hō͘ góa chai, im-ga̍k ē-tàng tiâu-chiat kín-tiuⁿ ê sim-chêng, kiám-khin cheng-sîn ê hū-tam. Che tō sī góa tī pē-bú tau só͘ kòe ê seng-oa̍h. Góa kóng kah chiah siông-sè, m̄-sī boeh tián hong-sîn, a̍h sī boeh hō͘ lín chai góa chin hó-gia̍h, sī boeh hō͘ lín khòaⁿ-tio̍h, góa ùi chiah hēng-hok ê tiâu-kiāⁿ lûn-lo̍k kàu taⁿ chit-chióng pi-chhám chōng-hóng, oân-choân m̄-sī góa ê kòe-chhò.
"Sū-si̍t sī, góa kòe chit-chióng bô-êng ê seng-oa̍h, bē-su sī ún-ki tī siu-tō īⁿ, tî-liáu chhù-lāi po̍k-jîn, góa jīn-ûi bô gōa-lâng ē khòaⁿ-tio̍h góa, in-ūi góa khì Mî-sat lóng sī thàu-chá, sin-piⁿ kīn-kīn tòe goán lāu-bú kap chhù-lāi ê cha-bó͘, khàm bīn-se koh pháiⁿ-sè tiuh-tiuh, ba̍k-chiu kan-ta khòaⁿ kha-pō͘. Sui-bóng án-ne, Don Fernando hit-tùi ài-chêng ba̍k-chiu, a̍h ti̍t-ba̍k, kóng khah pe̍h leh, bē-su soaⁿ-niau ba̍k, hoat-hiān tio̍h góa. Don Fernando tō sī góa tú-chiah kóng ê kong-chiok in sè-hàn hāu-seⁿ."
Chi̍t-ē thiaⁿ-tio̍h Don Fernando chit-ê miâ, Cardenio ê bīn-sek sûi piàn, koh khai-sí siàng tōa kōaⁿ. Sîn-hū kap thì-thâu-sai khòaⁿ-tio̍h chit-chióng chêng-hêng, tam-sim i sī m̄-sī tit-boeh hoat-chok in thiaⁿ-kóng i ū-sî ē hoat-chok ê siáu-chèng. Ka-chài, Cardenio bô koh kek-tōng, pó-chhî an-chēng, kan-ta sī kim-kim siòng chit-ê chng-kha ko͘-niû, in-ūi i khai-sí hoâi-gî yi tàu-té sī siáng. Tān-sī yi bô chù-ì tio̍h Cardenio ê kek-tōng, kè-sio̍k kóng yi ê kò͘-sū:
"Āu-lâi i kā góa kóng, to iáu-bōe khòaⁿ chheng-chhó, i tō khì hō͘ góa kā bê-tio̍h ah, ài kah bē tiâu-ti̍t, só͘ piáu-hiān chhut-lâi ê mā sī án-ne. M̄-koh, ūi-tio̍h sok-té kóng-khí góa ê put-hēng, góa boeh thiàu-kòe chē-chē Don Fernando iōng lâi tui-kiû góa ê chhiú-tōaⁿ. I siu-bé goán chhù-lāi lâng, sàng lé-mi̍h hō͘ goán pē-bú; ta̍k-kang ná chhiūⁿ cheh-ji̍t a̍h lāu-jia̍t; àm-sî im-ga̍k hō͘ lâng khùn bē-khì; sǹg bē-liáu ê chêng-phe m̄-chai án-chóaⁿ sàng kàu góa chhiú-tiong, chhiong-móa un-jiû ê tui-kiû kap pó-chèng, tn̂g ló-ló ê tⁿ-bi̍t ōe-gí. It-chhè chiah-ê m̄-nā bô phah-tāng góa ê sim, tian-tò hō͘ góa sim-koaⁿ lia̍h ngē, tùi i hoán-kám, bē-su i sī góa ê tùi-te̍k, ta̍k-hāng i tùi góa só͘ chò ê lóng sī pháiⁿ-ì.
"Góa pēng m̄-sī bô kah-ì Don Fernando ê ko-kùi chhut-sin, mā bē ià-siān i tùi góa ê phô͘-tháⁿ. Hoat-hiān siū-tio̍h chiah chhut-sek ê sin-sū tui-kiû koh pó-sioh, hō͘ góa bó͘-chióng ê boán-chiok. Tha̍k i tī phe lāi-bīn o-ló góa, góa bē bô hoaⁿ-hí, in-ūi khah bái ê cha-bó͘ mā kah-ì thiaⁿ lâng kóng yi súi. Sī góa ka-tī ê chèng-gī kám í-ki̍p pē-bú it-chài ê kà-sī kap che sio tùi-ke̍h. Pē-bú taⁿ chin chheng-chhó Don Fernando ê bo̍k-tek, in-ūi i bô iàu-ì hō͘ kui sè-kài chai chit-chân tāi-chì.
"Pē-bú kā góa kóng, in sìn-jīm góa, mā kā in ê êng-ū kap miâ-siaⁿ kià tī góa ê bí-tek kap chiàⁿ-ti̍t, kiò góa tio̍h chù-ì Don Fernando kap góa tiong-kan ê chha-pia̍t. Ùi chia góa ē-tàng kiat-lūn, bô-lūn i kóng kah gōa hó-thiaⁿ, i ê bo̍k-tek sī i ka-tī ê khoài-lo̍k, m̄-sī góa ê lī-ek. Pē-bú koh kóng, ká-sú góa siūⁿ boeh chó͘-chí i he hi-ké ê tui-kiû, in goān-ì kā góa kè hō͘ góa kah-ì ê jīm-hô lâng, bô-lūn sī tìn-ni̍h a̍h hū-kīn só͘-chāi ê chhut-sek jîn-bu̍t. In-ūi chiū in ê châi-hù í-ki̍ip góa ê hó miâ-siaⁿ, tī ta̍k sì-kè to ē-tàng chhōe-tio̍h sio sù-phòe ê tùi-siōng. Chit-ê thê-gī í-ki̍p in ha̍p-lí ê kiàn-gī hō͘ góa kian-tēng koat-sim, tō oân-choân bô hôe Don Fernando chi̍t-kù ōe, bô hō͘ i jīm-hô sêng-kong ê hi-bāng, liân chi̍t sut-sut-á to bô.
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28.3 我是管家, mā 是女主人
"我是 in 看 ka-tī ê 鏡, 是 in 老年 ê 倚靠, 是 in 順天實現願望 ê 目標. 我 ê 目標 kap in ê 一致, 因為我知 in ê 價值. 我是 in ê 心靈中心, mā 是 in ê 財產管家. In 透過我, 倩 a̍h辭僕人, mā 透過我 ê 手, 記錄掖種 kap收成 ê siàu-ba̍k kap 收益. 櫼油磨, 激酒桶, 頭牲, 羊陣, kap 飼蜂箱 ê 數量, 簡單講, 像阮老爸這款好額農夫可能有 ê 一切, lóng 由我管理. 我是管家 mā 是女主人, 我 ê 骨力, kap in ê 滿意, 我無法度 tī chia 詳細描述.
"我向看羊領班, 工頭, kap 其他僕人交代工課了後 ê 有閒時間, 我 tō 用來做少年姑娘 ē-sái 做 mā 應該做 ê 工課, 親像針線, 刺繡, 紡織 tt [等等]. 有時, 為著放鬆心情, 我 mā ē 放落 chiah-ê, 讀寡佮意 ê 冊, 彈徛琴 (harp), 因為經驗 hō͘ 我知, 音樂 ē-tàng 調節緊張 ê 心情, 減輕精神 ê 負擔. Che tō 是我 tī 爸母兜所過 ê 生活. 我講 kah chiah 詳細, 毋是欲展風神, a̍h 是欲 hō͘ 恁知我真好額, 是欲 hō͘ 恁看著, 我 ùi chiah 幸福 ê 條件淪落到今這種悲慘狀況, 完全毋是我 ê 過錯.
"事實是, 我過這種無閒 ê 生活, 袂輸是隱居 tī 修道院, 除了厝內僕人, 我認為無外人 ē 看著我, 因為我去 Mî-sat lóng 是透早, 身邊近近綴阮老母 kap 厝內 ê 查某, 崁面紗 koh 歹勢 tiuh-tiuh, 目睭 kan-ta 看跤步. 雖罔 án-ne, Don Fernando hit 對愛情目睭, a̍h 直目, 講 khah 白 leh, 袂輸山貓目, 發現著我. Don Fernando tō 是我拄才講 ê 公爵 in 細漢後生."
一下聽著 Don Fernando 這个名, Cardenio ê 面色隨變, koh 開始 siàng 大汗. 神父 kap 剃頭師看著這種情形, 擔心伊是毋是得欲發作 in 聽講伊有時 ē 發作 ê 痟症. 佳哉, Cardenio 無 koh 激動, 保持安靜, kan-ta 是金金相這个庄跤姑娘, 因為伊開始懷疑她到底是 siáng. 但是她無注意著 Cardenio ê 激動, 繼續講她 ê 故事:
"後來伊 kā 我講, to 猶未看清楚, 伊 tō 去 hō͘ 我kā迷著 ah, 愛 kah 袂條直, 所表現出來 ê mā 是 án-ne. M̄-koh, 為著縮短講起我 ê 不幸, 我欲跳過濟濟 Don Fernando 用來追求我 ê 手段. 伊收買阮厝內人, 送 lé-mi̍h hō͘ 阮爸母; 逐工 ná 像節日 a̍h 鬧熱; 暗時音樂 hō͘ 人睏袂去; 算袂了 ê 情批毋知按怎送到我手中, 充滿溫柔 ê 追求 kap 保證, 長 ló-ló ê 甜蜜話語. 一切 chiah-ê 毋但無拍動我 ê 心, 顛倒 hō͘ 我心肝掠硬, 對伊反感, 袂輸伊是我 ê 對敵, 逐項伊對我所做 ê lóng 是歹意.
"我並毋是無佮意 Don Fernando ê 高貴出身, mā 袂厭僐伊對我 ê 扶挺. 發現受著 chiah 出色 ê 紳士追求 koh 寶惜, hō͘ 我某種 ê 滿足. 讀伊 tī 批內面 o-ló 我, 我袂無歡喜, 因為 khah 䆀 ê 查某 mā 佮意聽人講她媠. 是我 ka-tī ê 正義感以及爸母一再 ê 教示 kap che sio 對扴. 爸母今真清楚 Don Fernando ê 目的, 因為伊無要意 hō͘ 規世界知這層代誌.
"爸母 kā 我講, in 信任我, mā kā in ê 榮譽 kap 名聲寄 tī 我 ê 美德 kap 正直, 叫我著注意 Don Fernando kap 我中間 ê 差別. Ùi chia 我 ē-tàng 結論, 無論伊講 kah 偌好聽, 伊 ê 目的是伊 ka-tī ê 快樂, 毋是我 ê 利益. 爸母 koh 講, 假使我想欲阻止伊 he 虛假 ê 追求, in 願意 kā 我嫁 hō͘ 我佮意 ê 任何人, 無論是鎮 ni̍h a̍h 附近所在 ê 出色人物. 因為就 in ê 財富以及我 ê 好名聲, tī ta̍k 四界 to ē-tàng 揣著 sio 四配 ê 對象. 這个提議以及 in 合理 ê 建議 hō͘ 我堅定決心, tō 完全無回 Don Fernando 一句話, 無 hō͘ 伊任何成功 ê 希望, 連一屑屑仔 to 無.
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28.3
“I was the mirror in which they beheld themselves, the staff of their old age, and the object in which, with submission to Heaven, all their wishes centred, and mine were in accordance with theirs, for I knew their worth; and as I was mistress of their hearts, so was I also of their possessions. Through me they engaged or dismissed their servants; through my hands passed the accounts and returns of what was sown and reaped; the oil-mills, the wine-presses, the count of the flocks and herds, the beehives, all in short that a rich farmer like my father has or can have, I had under my care, and I acted as steward and mistress with an assiduity on my part and satisfaction on theirs that I cannot well describe to you. /
The leisure hours left to me after I had given the requisite orders to the head-shepherds, overseers, and other labourers, I passed in such employments as are not only allowable but necessary for young girls, those that the needle, embroidery cushion, and spinning wheel usually afford, and if to refresh my mind I quitted them for a while, I found recreation in reading some devotional book or playing the harp, for experience taught me that music soothes the troubled mind and relieves weariness of spirit. Such was the life I led in my parents’ house and if I have depicted it thus minutely, it is not out of ostentation, or to let you know that I am rich, but that you may see how, without any fault of mine, I have fallen from the happy condition I have described, to the misery I am in at present. /
The truth is, that while I was leading this busy life, in a retirement that might compare with that of a monastery, and unseen as I thought by any except the servants of the house (for when I went to Mass it was so early in the morning, and I was so closely attended by my mother and the women of the household, and so thickly veiled and so shy, that my eyes scarcely saw more ground than I trod on), in spite of all this, the eyes of love, or idleness, more properly speaking, that the lynx’s cannot rival, discovered me, with the help of the assiduity of Don Fernando; for that is the name of the younger son of the duke I told of.”
The moment the speaker mentioned the name of Don Fernando, Cardenio changed colour and broke into a sweat, with such signs of emotion that the curate and the barber, who observed it, feared that one of the mad fits which they heard attacked him sometimes was coming upon him; but Cardenio showed no further agitation and remained quiet, regarding the peasant girl with fixed attention, for he began to suspect who she was. She, however, without noticing the excitement of Cardenio, continuing her story, went on to say:
“And they had hardly discovered me, when, as he owned afterwards, he was smitten with a violent love for me, as the manner in which it displayed itself plainly showed. But to shorten the long recital of my woes, I will pass over in silence all the artifices employed by Don Fernando for declaring his passion for me. He bribed all the household, he gave and offered gifts and presents to my parents; every day was like a holiday or a merry-making in our street; by night no one could sleep for the music; the love letters that used to come to my hand, no one knew how, were innumerable, full of tender pleadings and pledges, containing more promises and oaths than there were letters in them; all which not only did not soften me, but hardened my heart against him, as if he had been my mortal enemy, and as if everything he did to make me yield were done with the opposite intention. /
Not that the high-bred bearing of Don Fernando was disagreeable to me, or that I found his importunities wearisome; for it gave me a certain sort of satisfaction to find myself so sought and prized by a gentleman of such distinction, and I was not displeased at seeing my praises in his letters (for however ugly we women may be, it seems to me it always pleases us to hear ourselves called beautiful) but that my own sense of right was opposed to all this, as well as the repeated advice of my parents, who now very plainly perceived Don Fernando’s purpose, for he cared very little if all the world knew it. /
They told me they trusted and confided their honour and good name to my virtue and rectitude alone, and bade me consider the disparity between Don Fernando and myself, from which I might conclude that his intentions, whatever he might say to the contrary, had for their aim his own pleasure rather than my advantage; and if I were at all desirous of opposing an obstacle to his unreasonable suit, they were ready, they said, to marry me at once to anyone I preferred, either among the leading people of our own town, or of any of those in the neighbourhood; for with their wealth and my good name, a match might be looked for in any quarter. This offer, and their sound advice strengthened my resolution, and I never gave Don Fernando a word in reply that could hold out to him any hope of success, however remote.
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